SHACKLER'S REVENGE?!

NEW GUNS N ROSES?!

YES! YES! YES!

I'm married to consumerism, plastic and the sun...

If they cut me open and let all my blood drain into a bucket so they could test it, I'd bet most of my blood is Diet Pepsi. Seriously. Most of it. A majority of it. Vast amount. Enough that they could fill cans with it, sell it to the masses and the only difference would be the color. Taste the same.

Calling All Cars, Stop Being A Bunch Of Donut Eating Fat Bastards.

I hate how doughnut is the proper spelling.

I'll never put together the entire puzzle but that's okay, I've accepted that. I prefer having something incomplete.



Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me. I know, I wouldn't be happy in your situation either but it's just destiny. Fate. Karma. The final frontier in Life's course. The eternal bond of happiness and sorrow. God and Satan. We're caught in an unbreakable bond.
Sucks, doesn't it? Knowing I'm your other half. We both know it'll take guts to get rid of the other which can only result in a loss of mental stability. Such a shame how the ying yang works. I don't think it meant to cause such harm.



Did you hear the news? The oranges won the championship!!! New World Champions! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BUT THE UNDERDOGS, THE ORANGES, HAVE PROVED THE MASSES WRONG AND CLAIMED THE VICTORY THEY DESIRED ALL SEASON. You simply have to be hear to feel this raw emotion!

I want you so badddd guitarriff.

Let the engine lube itself up. Don't waste your time with the grease. The raw chemical engineering of science will show us the way. Oh and if you weren't told by the one at the door, think too hard and you'll forget where you are. Don't think enough and you'll forget where you are. Think just right and well, oh boy, oh son, you'll find out, won't ya? Wontcha?! I always warn the boys in red to watch the bullets. I always tell the men in green keep your eyes forward with your hands around the steel. Years ago before the boys wore blue, gray was the choice of style. Not grey, don't you ever mention grey around me. We wore gray, THAT'S IT!

Layout your clothes for tomorrow morning if you choose to be on time. You'll want stuff, by stuff I do mean clothing, that matches so you don't look like a FREAKKKKKKKKKK. My mother never dressed me properly as a child. It was a sad sad sad sad point in my life. It's the reason why my socks never match. It's the reason my shirts inside out. It's the reason my jeans are too loose. It's the reason I've never gone out and bought a belt. It's the reason I'll never learn how to tie a tie and it's the reason everytime I see you in your bright yellow sunshine dress I simply DON'T MIND.

Forever ago there was a boy. This boy didn't have any toys. So he went to the dump. He found the dump. He decided to go to the dump and search for lost treasure. The dump was a land of treasure. Filled with goodies, baddies and tons of rodents.

Vinyl. Yum. Vinyl. Yum. Vinyl. Yum. Vinyl goes around and around and around. DID YOU KNOW, VINYL WAS USED ON LUNCH BOXES! LUNCH BOXES FOR CHRIST SAKE OMG.

I'll spin you right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round.

Fair enough they said, we'll take a bread and wine. Fair enough I said, I'll take your bread and wine. Let's go marching down and down into the ground like a bunch of ants returning a feast of garbage, soil and yeast.

My daughter refuses to call me daddy anymore. She said she out grew that years ago.


Porcupine. Hedgehog. Let's cross breed. Porcuhog. No. Hedgepine. No. Hedcupi. No. Hodcepig. No. Pinehog. Hogpine. Hogtie. I'm going to hogtie you until you figure out how to cross-breed a porcopine and hedgehog.

GOD DAMN. SO MUCH TO SHOW.

I met Willy Wonka once in London. He brought me to the candy shop....and well that's when he started to rap 50 cent to me, except I really don't think it was just him rappign so much as him saying.

Forever Young. Forever Dumb. Forever Mindless. Forever Young. Forever Niave. Forever FOREVER FOREVER FOREVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER. EVER EVEREVEREVEREVEREVERVERVEREVEREVER...try typing EVER with just two fingers over and over and over. EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER. well, three, thumb goes on space. E = middle finger. V R = pointer/index finger. IT'S FUN, CHALLENGING AND A TIME WASTER!


e.g. scooters, vacation, fall how dare you google tell me what to rant about.

Ctrl with: B = BOLD! BOLD BOLD BOLD oh... I = ITALIC like so THIS IS ITALIC ITALIAN p = publish but who wants to do that? Publishers, THAT'S WHO!


Join me down the river so we can go catch up with Huckleberry Finn. Teach him a lesson or two. Beat up that Tom Sawyer too. Damn him and his white washing, it's definitely no fun.

XXX = Alcohol. XXX = Porn. XXX = Vin Diesel. XXX = Ice Cube. That was Ice Cube right?

You know where to find me. Aisle 11 reading the Rolling Stone Magazine. Robert Downey Jr. on front.

Fast Forward. Rewind. Skip Chapter. Menu Button.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?! ENJOYING THE VIEW OF THE SKY?!

Interrobang !?

!? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !? !?!?!?!?!??!!!?!?!!?!!?!??!

I know this girl who got so fucking wasted and left the party in a rush. She ended up at the pond and found some ducks. Near the ducks was a huge toad. The toad just wouldn't shut its mouth, ribbiting ribbiting ribbiting a bunch. But she decided to kiss it hoping it'd be a prince.

SHE WAS WRONG.

Stinky Cheese Man & Other Fairly Stupid Tales.

Squids Will Be Squids no matter how hard you try to change their ways. That's just how nature is, man.

Okay enough nonsense for one night. TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. TODAY IS A NEW DAY. YESTERDAY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON!