I should be getting a 3.0 this semester in grades overall. That's good right? I think. I hope so.

That's if it all goes to plan. FINGERS ARE CROSSED.

This class sucks. I'm not quite sure I understand the grading policy, hopefully my estimations are correct.

I really need to invest in an American flag. Not a cheap one from Walmart. I always stare up at the American flag on campus in front of Murdock Hall, just flapping in the wind. The sky is gross today. A very sad dark grey. It'll probably start raining soon. I want a big American flag. One that is made with pride. Wow, that sounds lame. I just realized, we say we're patriotic, not nationalistic, hm.

I really do want to go see the World but a part of me really does not want to leave this country. That part screams, "You can just go explore the West Coast. Try out Chicago. Maybe move down to Texas. Go see mount rushmore or maybe even the grand canyon. What's stopping you?"

Would I die for my country? Lyrics, movies and books keep bringing that question up to me. Dying is a scary thing. Would I die for love ones? Yes. Would I die for my nation? I'm not sure. I feel like I'd do more help alive than dead. Maybe if this were some Fallout 3 ending, sure but I don't expect that coming out anytime soon. I don't know how all those men fought in those world wars. I don't know how they had the nerve to just run out into battle. I can't believe they had the guts to charge head first into death. It does make me proud to have forefathers who did such actions. Tried to make our country and other parts of the World a better place. I wonder what a lot of them would think about this place now? What would 9/11 be like in their eyes? Would they be proud of the Bush administration? Be proud of the choice the nation made in Obama? So many unanswered questions. I'll never get the answers but that's okay, life has to be mysterious at times. I like to be mysterious, so I can't judge.

I can't sit still forever. I really hope Bowie gets that. I really hope my family understands that.

God made the automobile.

This dormroom story should technically end in one week because I won't be in a dorm in Autumn but I'll keep it going for one more year before I retire this blog and move onto something new. Maybe...

...the Aquaman World Conquest.

School is 3/4 done.  3/4!  That's more than half.  1/4 more.

Love Vigilantes is now my favorite song for this current period in my life.  The Iron & Wine cover at least.  

Bowie has been miserable.  I hate it when he is miserable.  I'm trying to convince him to come live with me in Autumn.   I don't know if it would cure his blues completely but at least temporarily it would.  We always promised each other that we'd get an apartment together but when will I have time?  I don't know.  

Iron & Wine makes me wish I could play acoustic guitar.  Maybe I'll have Bowie or Ray teach me chords or just how to physically play chords.  My hands cannot get like that, I'm a bassist dammit.  Eh, not really a bassist.  I can play bass but I don't.  Ray plans on changing that in the Autumn.

I got a blue-ish rubber ducky today.  I've been contemplating mailing it to Nick.  I think he'd really like it.  He does love Rubber Duckies and I think it'd be a sign of "Hey, hang in there buddy."  Or maybe a lame sign of "Don't drown, keep on floating!"  

Haven't heard back anything involving internships or the such for the summer.  I don't know what the summer brings now, hopefully not another grocery job.  I mean a job is a job in this recession.  I'm no better than any of those people in the grocery stores but I just feel now it is a waste of my mind to be lifting milk crates.  A part of me sometimes will say "You should have dropped out of college and became a grocery store manager," not because it's the smart thing to do but because it'd be a sign of balls, mostly stupidity though.  College is obviously the better choice.  

Will my plan work?  MCLA -> Teaching in Japan ->  Uni Down Under -> London or NYC

It's so far but so close.  I hope I can have Austin or Bowie come with me to Japan or anyone that is my friend really.  I don't want to get lost in translation.  I don't want to be alone in Japan with 100 million other people.  It's just a necessary stepping stone though to get what I need and want out of life.  

One person can make a difference.  Throughout our relationship she always told me that isn't possible anymore.  She was wrong about a lot of things.  She's still wrong about a lot of things.  I do hope she is doing alright though.  I wonder if she voted for Obama.  She must have, hypocrite.  But as Ray said today, "But I thought you were a fan of irony."  I am a man who loves his irony. 

After meeting and going to a Q&A today with Obama's campaign manager, one person can make a difference and can change everything that was yesterday.  But there is a system.  It is a web.  One person can break his part of the web which may or may not eventually lead to the failure of the rest.  There is no way of knowing until their sequence of events is over.  I know I can make a difference.  I wouldn't say Barack Obama, our current President, is the inspiration for me to be all I can be, to do the best I can, but he is another concrete symbol in my eyes.  He stood up against the odds and won.  I want to stand up agaisnt the odds and win.  I do it frequently but I don't want to stop.  

Will I be rich?  Will I be succesful?  

Kenan said to me I'm a big fish in a small pond and he wonders if I'll stick with that for the rest of my life.  There's nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond, well there are plenty of things but can lead to a comfortable life as long as the fish is getting plenty of food and oxygen.  He said MCLA is a small pond.  Japan will be a small pond.  Australia will be a small pond as well.  In the business world, I will dominate my way to the top without stress in all of those areas but when you put an influence on a small pond, does word even spread to the surrounding lakes?  Sometimes, yes.  Far from always though.  Going from Down Under to the US of A in the Business World is a very big leap.  I am American, my Father was a vice president of sales, my brother a stock broker.  I read the New York Times and Wallstreet Journal.  I'm a double concentration in Marketing and International Business and will be getting Masters degrees in both, why can't I come back and dominate?  Why not me?  I would however love to get that degree in The Beatles in Liverpool.  

"I never know what's going on in your head."  "When I look into your eyes, I can never figure out what you're thinking."  I hear that too often.  Is that a good thing?  Do people thrive to be mysterious or do you just happen to fall into it?  I just grew up this way.  I know my parents will be shocked when I tell them about going to Japan and then to Down Under.  "I want to be a writer in the Berkshires at MCLA" was a shock to them.  Apparently, my actions come off as a shock initially but when they relook and think it all over, they tell me how it made sense and they expected it always.  My father tells me he sees me writing a screenplay and winning an Academy Award one day.  Bowie's dad always asks me about how the book is coming along, a book that currently does not exist. 

I just stopped writing to fill up my orange juice plastic container that is half a gallon.  I prefer this over glasses, mugs, cups.  

God made the Automobile apparently?  Oh, I just finally understood what he said. *

****

9 friends are a fan of cuddling. Every friend should be a fan of cuddling.

I'm a fan of Gorilla Grape, Newman's Own, Rainbow Cookies and Wings Over/The Hangar.  

Superman is boring.  I don't know why anyone would want to be him.  Being perfect isn't what it's all cracked up to be, I would know.  har har har.

Aquaman is clearly the better superhero.  Actually, Namor is way better than Aquaman in character development but Aquaman's outfit just well, rocks.  I'm bias for orange fishscale spandex, what can I say?  

I offer to you my hand and friendship through the terrible path of lava, black forests and the dark twisted caverns of the evil sister spirits.  

Let's make a video game where you're the princess kidnapped and prisoned in castle and I'm the hero trying my best to go through all the dungeons in hopes of not hearing the bad news of "Sorry, The Princess is in another castle."

someone else has SaveMeAquaMan as their twitter account, fuck them.  

God made the automobile to pass all the pretty girls.  

The smoke by the side of the road, the blues lovin' boys in tow 
To drive to the end of the day and bow to a borrowed flag 
To ride all the brave and the blind, and men without men in mind 

To pass all the things He made and then never bothered to name 
And no one will tell the truth, and no one will hide it from you 
Like birds around the grave 

God made the automobile and I made a little boy 
To pass on the blissfully young, the snake with a forked tongue 
To praise on the wanting for time, and makes in the sleepless waves 
The fear of the Black and the Jew, and blood for the camera crew 

And passes the things He made and then never bothered to name 
And no one can tell the truth, and no one can hide it from you 
Like birds around the grave

NO MY FONT CHANGED.okie, i'm going to write before these lyrics BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE THIS FONT, if get to this point, well, you already read everything else, this was supposed to be where the ****'s are.

My font is different and I don't like that. 

And the stare from her eyes

Penetrates deeply 

Into the planned calendar 

I've had pinned in my mind

For longer than I can remember

She's looking for her date

She's looking for her month

She's trying to find the years

In my life 

To which we'll be together

July 15th

She's been planning that date

For quite some time now

Or so her friends claim

I hate being the bringer of bad news

But 

July 15th

Isn't for sharing or mutual experiences

It's my date

My birthday 

If I was young I'd flee this town

I'd bury my dreams underground

As did I we drink to die

We drink tonight

Far from home

Elephant Guns

Let's take them down 

One by one

It's not been found

It's not around

Let the seasons begin

It rolls right on

Let the seasons begin

Take the big king down.

I miss writing but I can never figure out anymore the right things to say.  That's sad.  That makes me sad.  

I wish I could play the trumpet or something from the horn section.  Something that could be considered classy and filled with lust.  The bass is neither of that.  

West.

Let's start brewing beer

To help us forget 

It doesn't seem too hard

And the cost seems about right

We'll finally be masters of a trade

And after we've brewed enough

Made enough

I'll be able to take you on the vacation

You always begged for.

Let's start harvesting the grapes

So our wine business will thrive

I know you can't tell the difference

Between Merlot and Syrah 

But that's okay

It's easy to pretend when your heart

Is pumping lust.

What the fuck am I even talking about?

I should be writing a paper not rambling.

Have you ever wondered what goes on

When the soldier returns home?

Nope, have YOU!?

I have one too many photo frames with no pictures inside of them.