My heart sinks everytime I stumble onto a hint. Things at this age never seem to get easier. Everyone at this point in time just seems to be a walking contradiction. It's rare to find someone who is well, simply true.

She's the most poetic person I know.

My neck feels like it needs to be cracked, popped, massaged. It's so stiff.

I'm afraid of what tomorrow brings. I love to plan out every detail and watch it all come into play. I like to dictate. I like to be the director. I like to take someone else's work and apply it to my nature but I'm always afraid something won't go according to plan. There will be a slip up. There will be some change. The main actors will be sick. The actress will get in an accident. The script rewrites will never be made.

It's a scary thought to know how it will all end.

I don't want to be a bitter battered man. I don't want to be afraid of love. I don't want to burn bridges. I don't want to bomb villages. I want to build cities. I want to ride trains.

I wish Alaska in Winter had lyrics posted online.

I'm going to be living in a House with Six Other Human Beings.

I really have no clue what to expect from my life. I just hope a bed is waiting for me there in North Adams. I hope there is furniture for me to use. I hope I'm greeted. I hope I receive hugs, hand shakes and more. I wonder who the new characters will be in this year's season. I wonder who won't return, who will. I wonder about the cameos, the change of scenario and wacky antics. There's plenty of well developed secondary characters, I really have no clue where anything will go. I prefer it that way. I like it that way. I want life to take me along not just show me the way.

I want to be a better person not for you, not for them, not for my family but for myself. I've spent most of my life learning how to be on the offense, how to be on the hunt. No more hunting for me. I'm going to stand on the sidelines and smell those flowers. Maybe even plant my own. I'd like to say it's possible I'll start smiling but that really might be asking for too much.

24 Credits in Autumn

25 Credits in Spring

I'm a fuckin beast

Am I really going to go venture off to Japan to spread wisdom of the English language? I'm beginning to get torn. I want to see the World. I want to get out there. I want that change of pace. This part of the East Coast is starting to get thin. Maybe Philadelphia could be another home. I don't know how my brother waited so long to move out. I don't know how my sister has never left for more than a week.

Everyone should experience living on their own.

I want to learn how to sing, well, presentably and sing about all the typical love drama only the teenagers are used to.

David Bowie you're so suave.